Thanks Mom for my next fun Customer Service keynote story!

My mother seems to go through computers like I go through toilet paper - and I am quite regular. The things my mom can do to a computer have even left the people at Microsoft dazed and confused. But as a professional speaker, my mom has provided me with lots of fun stories that I can share with audiences.

My mom is 76 years old. I was intrigued by her motivations when at 68 years old she decided she wanted to enter the technological age. For that I applaud her. But who knew the fun and laughs she was going to provide to the family and one of my Top 5 - who I also refer to as her local tech support! Thank you RTO for not moving out of Yonkers!

Some of moms PC feats have included:

• Getting McAfee Virus Scan to go into an endless scan
• Windows updates that never seem to stop updating
• Monitor screens that change to colors I didn't even know existed
• Printers that print anything but the document you have sent to that printer
• Sending email and then sitting and pondering why I have not responded immediately. (this was early on; she finally figured out her son is not sitting at the computer all the time; that occasionally I am out keynoting at a conference)
• Finding a dial-up speed that was 115 kps
• And my favorite...........Managing to get the Windows Start/Task Bar to settle across the center of the screen - yes even the folks at Microsoft could not figure out how she did that one! And CTRL-ALT-DEL did not fix it

So when mom needs a new computer, I now take the disposable approach. Get her the cheapest thing for her needs; because whether it costs $300 or $3,000 we are going to be replacing it within a year.

I try to be honest with salespeople and tell them bells and whistles mean nothing; that the only amount of gigs I am interested in are the ones booked on my calendar. This is purely economics. She is going to need a new computer in a year; it is that simple. I am certain of that.

So to my friends at Office Depot, Best Buy, Circuit City and Staples - all whom I went to visit yesterday - stop and listen to what your customer needs and not what you think they need or are hoping to move out of your inventory. I have an inventory of possessed computers I am thinking of putting on the lawn this Halloween.

Today I'll spend some time shopping the web for a PC Bargain. As I left mom's yesterday she offered to do it. I was concerned she would blow up the Internet.