Thanks Mom for my next fun Customer Service keynote story!

My mother seems to go through computers like I go through toilet paper - and I am quite regular. The things my mom can do to a computer have even left the people at Microsoft dazed and confused. But as a professional speaker, my mom has provided me with lots of fun stories that I can share with audiences.

My mom is 76 years old. I was intrigued by her motivations when at 68 years old she decided she wanted to enter the technological age. For that I applaud her. But who knew the fun and laughs she was going to provide to the family and one of my Top 5 - who I also refer to as her local tech support! Thank you RTO for not moving out of Yonkers!

Some of moms PC feats have included:

• Getting McAfee Virus Scan to go into an endless scan
• Windows updates that never seem to stop updating
• Monitor screens that change to colors I didn't even know existed
• Printers that print anything but the document you have sent to that printer
• Sending email and then sitting and pondering why I have not responded immediately. (this was early on; she finally figured out her son is not sitting at the computer all the time; that occasionally I am out keynoting at a conference)
• Finding a dial-up speed that was 115 kps
• And my favorite...........Managing to get the Windows Start/Task Bar to settle across the center of the screen - yes even the folks at Microsoft could not figure out how she did that one! And CTRL-ALT-DEL did not fix it

So when mom needs a new computer, I now take the disposable approach. Get her the cheapest thing for her needs; because whether it costs $300 or $3,000 we are going to be replacing it within a year.

I try to be honest with salespeople and tell them bells and whistles mean nothing; that the only amount of gigs I am interested in are the ones booked on my calendar. This is purely economics. She is going to need a new computer in a year; it is that simple. I am certain of that.

So to my friends at Office Depot, Best Buy, Circuit City and Staples - all whom I went to visit yesterday - stop and listen to what your customer needs and not what you think they need or are hoping to move out of your inventory. I have an inventory of possessed computers I am thinking of putting on the lawn this Halloween.

Today I'll spend some time shopping the web for a PC Bargain. As I left mom's yesterday she offered to do it. I was concerned she would blow up the Internet.

The Conference Planning Committee Chose Not the Fun, but the Un-Motivational Speaker

She was cheering me on. She wanted me to be the Opening General Session for their conference. We had a great conversation on the phone. All looked good. I was excited. The Executive Director was excited.

And then my name got tossed in front of..................... The Committee.

Her case: We can have some fun. We can really motivate our volunteer base to stay involved and get more active; or we can listen to the Boring State Legislator tell them the state of their industry and how funding and donations will be less and less.

Their Case: But the Legislator is free.

Which would you choose as the opening general session for your conference? Fun and Motivational or Free and Doom and Gloom?

Hello!!!! Unless you're living in a bubble I am pretty certain you know the state of the economy; and if you're in a role which is totally supported by funding and donations you probably know even more what you are about to come up against. So let's gather 500 people together for a few days and start off by pounding that into their heads for an hour? There's a great conference waiting to happen.

Am I pissed that I was not chosen? Pissed is the wrong word. Disappointed? Sure. Even the Motivational Speaker gets bummed from time to time. I know, you're shocked. But as I quoted in my New Self-Help Book, I really am sick of all those people who say life is hunky dory all the time. Let's Get Real!

But what I am more bothered with is the fear and uncertainty that is building daily throughout too many organizations. In addition to the financial health of companies, the health and wellness of organization staff and volunteers is also deteriorating as they continue to have salt poured into the economic wound - that being the US Economy.

I've always believed that there is money to be made in any economic downturn - you just have to know where to look. I also believe it happens because most people are so busy focused on how awful things are while the smart people are ignoring the news and having fun growing their businesses or personal wealth. They've started a new bubble.

So with that, I encourage you and your organization to choose not to participate in this economic downturn. If you're going to take the approach that Free has more value than Fee (yes that is why I was not chosen) or spending more time focusing on cutting expenses versus seeking revenue opportunities, we know where your thinking is.

And Speaking of Ways To Reduce Morale & Motivation

Is leadership really that difficult? Do leaders need a smack upside their head in order to figure out the obvious and right thing to do? Motivating staff to continue to perform for you does not have to be as difficult as people think.

Last week I was having a whole lot of fun speaking to a group of CT State Employees. Well at one point their leader's actions came under fire - that leader being Governor M. Jodi Rell. I told them I would send her a letter. And since I always keep my promises............ the letter below was emailed to the Governor of the Great State of CT this morning (the only edit I made was removing the individuals name; that remains between the 100 of us in the room last Friday).

Governor Rell,

So why is it that when a taxpayer takes the time to send you a message about a great experience he/she has with a state employee; and that taxpayer asks you to personally let that person know they made a difference you cannot find 30 seconds in your day to contact that individual, yet you (or your staff) can find the 30 seconds to contact that person’s boss?

Last week I presented an in-service for a diverse group of state employees; the above matter came up. Governor, one of the focuses of my presentation that day was how leaders and staff can find value in each other, share that value, and applaud each person’s value. You are the leader of our state and I know for a fact that one of your employees, (his name was here), would love to hear from you how he made a difference to that taxpayer; and not get a message from you through his supervisor.

Governor Rell, if you take this as a criticism you are missing the point of this message. If that call or email comes directly from your office you will have restored the faith of a group of state employees that are a little wounded right now.

No need to answer this email, I recognize how busy you are; and this email is not about me.

Rich DiGirolamo

Hmmm..............maybe I should start a new fun part of my speaking business; writing letters for people who are pissed off, slighted, or hurt.

EH! Stop Speaking To Me Like That!

I was in Canada last week. I love the Canadians. They are warm and friendly.

I entered the border crossing plaza and handed the officer my passport. He asked me a few questions about why I was there, checked out the temporary registration on my vehicle, and welcomed me to Canada.

Now let's talk about the return to my own country! I entered the border crossing plaza and handed the officer my passport. I was interrogated - for what seemed like an hour (okay it was ten minutes); as if I was some sort of a criminal.

What am I transporting in the car?
My clothes and a laptop.

Am I carrying firearms?
No.

Am I carrying ammunition?
No.

Did anyone give me firearms?
No.

Where is my license plate?
Just registered the car; it has a temporary plate.

Why?
It was purchased out of state.

Am I carrying drugs?
What!!!? No.

Where am I going?
Home to CT

Am I driving all the way through?
No planning on finding a place to sleep soon.

Where did I stop tonight?
To take a leak. (I was started getting to get – no pun intended – pissed at this guy)

Where?
Some travel plaza about an hour back

Go ahead! (he hands me back my documents)
Thanks for doing such a thorough job. (I think he wanted to arrest me with that comment)

The whole time I was having flashbacks of when mom was trying to catch me in a lie; or when the boss called me into an office to talk to my work. Okay it's 11:00 at night and a guy with a propeller on his head in a car with a temporary registration is crossing the border. I guess that screams trouble???

But I found it odd how welcoming the Canadian Officer was and how abrasive my fellow American acted towards me. It was like good cop-bad cop or good boss-bad boss.

But then again, maybe his supervisor was watching? Maybe he had a fight with his wife/partner that night? Maybe he had a headache? Maybe he was doing his job? Maybe he was having fun and gets his kicks being abrasive? Maybe this type of stuff shouldn't bother us? Maybe he had other motivations?

Maybe we should all look at the tone we use to communicate with one another?

Did I say I love the Canadians?

No, Ifs, Ands, The Problem Is or Butts

The Nebraska Recreation and Park Association took a Recess the other day – a fun and humorous Recess from the way too many people and organizations think.

The purpose of my Recess: It’s Not Just For Kids presentation was to overcome challenges and identify new programming opportunities for Recreation and Park Services. During our time together there was one rule……….They were not allowed to use the words But, The Problem Is, You Don’t Understand, That Won’t Work, or anything similar.

Based on the feedback I received afterwards they had a heck of a lot of fun and appeared motivated to leave their conference and explore new programming opportunities.

Well that evening the tables were turned when I joined them for the Pub Crawl. I was put in a position where I was not allowed to say But, however they got the opportunity to play with my BUTT!

Things got a little crazy at Wanda’s Bar in Hastings, NE and a game of Butt Darts commenced. Now if you’re not familiar with this game you give yourself a wedgie (in your pants), stick a quarter in the crack, and then tighten that quarter in your crack. Once you have enjoyed that experience, you position yourself over a glass and the goal is to drop the quarter into the glass.

I was watching the fun. It was quite humorous - especially watching the woman who weighed all of forty pounds and had no butt. All I kept thinking about was what a great humorous story this is going to be for a future presentation.

While I was thinking of material, they started chanting my name. Rich. Rich. Rich.

Now I could have made excuses, BUT………………. We’re not allowed to use those words. And since I’m always willing to try something new…………………………….

Two rounds later, I guess you could call it the "elimination" round, guess whose virgin butt was the NeRPA Butt Darts Champion!

Now if this doesn't motivate you to save a life.....

Attention passengers, is there a doctor or nurse on board?

So much for making that connection. Good thing I have music and a book I commented to the woman next to me.

A doctor moved to the back of the plane. Within 10 minutes we were rapidly descending into Buffalo, NY. Ironically, I will be there Tuesday night. Taxiing at the speed of sound it was like a scene out of one of those Airport or Airplane movies of the 70's and 80's. Northwest Airlines Flight 259 now arriving Gate 8, Gate 9, Gate 10, Gate 23, 24, 25,26. RTO, that one was for you!!!!

The paramedics enter the aircraft. Spend about thirty seconds with the woman and walk her off.

We applaud the doctor.

A short while after the flight attendant comes by and offers the doctor a bottle of wine for stepping in and perhaps saving that woman's life.

I found humor in this. A bottle of wine? In this land of opportunity - meaning let's sue the pants off someone - they offer him a bottle of wine? There's a motivational reward waiting for you!

How about a free ticket to Buffalo?

Humor, Fun, and Motivation Courtesy of Thinking Outside the Box!

You've heard it. I've heard it. I'm sick of hearing it. It's a phrase that is so overused it means absolutely nothing anymore................

Think Outside the Box

Unless of course you're these two; then it has a whole new meaning..................

Have a great weekend; I'm in Nebraska; I'm the opening keynote speaker for the Nebraska Recreation and Park Association.

Guess what type of thinking I won't be talking about? But we will be having fun.