I've got a short motivational keynote and a fun idea for the Federal Reserve.

So yesterday the Federal Reserve bailed out AIG to the tune of $85 billion. Looks like Detroit is next in line to the tune of $45 billion (the number I heard on the news last evening).

Hey Federal Reserve, here is a fun idea...................Do you realize you could bail out over 433,000 families instead of just a few corporations? As a motivational speaker for business and corporations, I like to encourage organizations to change their thinking. So today, I am calling on the Federal Reserve to wake up and spread the bailout in a manner that is fair and equitable.

Here is my idea.............

Let's assume the typical family has $300,000 in debt between mortgage, credit cards, car leases/loans and student debt. If you took that $130 billion and cleared the debt of those people you would have helped over 433,000 people. There would be fun and laughter in the streets.

Now for those of you looking at the humor in all this, please don't; I think this could work; and you don't see McCain or Obama offering suggestions? Heck, $300,000 might even be on the high side. The Federal Reserve could probably bail out 600,000 or 700,000 families; even more fun and laughter. I could see block parties with music coming out of speakers on every corner.

This just seems like the right thing to do; after all once the bailout has occurred, in order to control costs, jobs are just going to go overseas anyway, right?

So if anyone reading this has a direct link to someone up the Food Chain at the Federal Reserve please send them this and tell them I have a fifteen minute keynote prepared just for them!

But in the meantime...............Hey Fed, I'm first in line for my bailout. Anyone want to be number 2? Feel free to hit the comments button below.

But that is how this Motivational Speaker does business!

So I get a call yesterday from a credit card processing company; starting to tell me that my current credit card processor is ripping me off. I decided to have some fun with this woman and here is how the conversation went:

Rich: Do you know who my credit card processor is?

Lady: No, but next year all customers of credit card processing companies will see their fees more than double and we can help you.

Rich: (thinking every one's fees?) So everyone is going to double but you? Listen, if you would like to send me information in the mail I would be more than happy to take a look at it.

Lady: We do not mail information.

Rich: Well I don't make decisions based on phone calls, so you can either mail me something or take me off your call list.

And then I nearly blew a gasket!

Lady: That is not how we do business, but tomorrow a representative will be in your neighborhood....

Rich: (I cut her off) That is not how you do business? (I started laughing) Well guess what, that is not how this Motivational Speaker does business either; and if you would like me as your customer it would be in your best interest to listen to how I do business, rather than tell me how you do business. So thank you for the call, but most importantly thank you for giving me something fun to speak about when I address customer service in my next keynote.

Speaking of learning……I think it should be fun and motivational!

A fun learning experience for me is a hands-on learning experience. I like to do, not just be told what to do. Now I do realize that there are different learning styles, but I’m a hands-on interactive type of guy. Please do not ask me to visit the Guggenheim; I’d rather eat dirt. But a visit to the Liberty Science Center, where I get to press buttons and turn dials is the place for me to learn and have fun. As a speaker I recognize that people like me are sitting in the audience and always include a good chunk of fun motivational interactive pieces that get people excited and encourage them to take action; even when it is a 45 minute keynote. Seriously, who really wants to listen to anyone speak for 45 minutes?

Here’s a quick thought, at your next boring tedious staff meeting toss in a quick ten or fifteen minute interactive/creative piece. See how the tone of the meeting can change. If you need a free idea, get in touch with me, I’ll give you one.

Well enough writing for today, I need to go pack my box of interactive fun and ship it to Nebraska. Sunday I am the opening keynote speaker for the Nebraska Recreation and Park Association. I love Recreation and Park Professionals; they get paid to have fun – even though they forget sometimes!

A Life Answer Provided By The Magic Bullet

Several years ago when I awoke in the middle of the night I bought a Magic Bullet off a 3:00AM infomercial. It's a chopper, grater, blender, and juicer all in one. This machine is being pitched to solve all of your kitchen dilemmas!

Well like anything else we get sucked into buying on television, they make it look so easy. You can make the best salsa with just a flick of the wrist. You can make the easiest chicken salad with just the flick of a wrist. My flick of a wrist usually resulted in Salsa Soup and Chicken Salad Puree!

For years I would sit and watch that infomercial trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Not being much of a TV watcher I tend to surf through the channels; and anytime I saw that Magic Bullet commercial I stopped. This is going to be the time I figure it out.

Want some Puree? There's a vat of it in my kitchen.

So the other night there it is again.........the Magic Bullet. Once again I am analyzing the scenario. I've got the cup. I'm using the right blade. I'm chopping the pieces into the sizes they seem to be using. I'm flicking my wrist like theirs. Why am I getting Salsa Soup?

Now it's time for the Chicken Salad; into the cup, twist on the blade.

WAIT!!! STOP!!!!!

The Cup! The Cup!

I've been using the big cup (must be the bigger is better mentality in my sub-conscious)! They're using the small cup.

I ran downstairs at 11:00 PM. There were leftover chicken drumsticks in the fridge! Rip them apart. Drop them in the small cup. Put in some mayo. Flick. Flick.

CHICKEN SALAD!!!!! (a little mushy, but not puree!)

The answer was right in front of me the whole time; I was just looking in the wrong place; at the wrong pieces.

What answers are you looking for in the wrong place? What answers are right in front of you, but your focus is somewhere else? Maybe the real value of the Magic Bullet is to teach us how to solve life dilemmas by looking for the right pieces?

Northwest: The Crappy Airline

Now before the lawyers start suing me for libel and slander for labeling Northwest a crappy airline (because let's face it, we've all had crappy airline experiences); this has nothing to do with crappy service, it really has to do with crap!

While waiting for a recent Northwest flight there was a couple with their dog in the gate area. It was not a service dog, but small enough to fit in a piece of luggage that fit under the seat-back in front of them. It seems that dogs are allowed on the plane if they fit in a carry-on. I went over to meet the dog. Cute.

While in flight a sudden odor shot through the cabin. That odor came from the seat right behind me. Please refer to the title of this blog post. Yes, the dog took a crap. Well as quick as that odor came, it went. I guess the owners have done this before and were prepared. People were wild. I found it hilarious. I saw two options; get crazed over a situation of which I had no control or laugh at those who were getting crazed.

The other day a cute little baby was in the terminal. We boarded the plane. Guess where the baby was seated? While in flight a sudden odor shot through the cabin. That odor came from the seat right behind me. Please refer to the title of this blog post. Yes, the baby took a crap. Well as quick as that odor came, it went. I guess the "owners" have done this before and were prepared. Three older women seated nearby went wild. I found it hilarious. I saw two options; get crazed over a situation of which I had no control or laugh at those who were getting crazed.

Too often we are bothered with what we cannot change, versus focusing on what we can change - our attitude. So let's all get rid of the crappy attitudes and leave the crapping to babies and dogs.

Vote for me!

My friend Sherry and I are ready to serve our country! Will you help us?

Watch this video and see how you can help:

http://www.inews3.com/topstory.php?id=526963682044694769726f6c616d6f20267c536865727279204b696e67

How To Know You're PowerPoint Obsessed

Disclaimer: I am not a fan of PowerPoint, mainly because I feel my intelligence is being insulted when someone stands up and reads a presentation to me because they are either unprepared or need a crutch. I want to be engaged and involved in a presentation, not bored out of my mind.
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So with that disclaimer, today I sat in on a meeting with a woman who has her son's activity schedule on a PowerPoint slide. No really; I'm not fibbing. She showed it to me..............With Pride! She has the next three months all done................color coded and everything. I wonder if there is a slide show throughout the house?

I'm thinking this person is also a Crackberry Addict!