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A Trip To The Dog Park

Feeling a bit uninspired today I decided to take an hour off and take the dogs down to the local dog park.

It was our first time there and I didn't know what to expect. What does one do at a dog park? What do you bring? What if the other dogs start making fun of my dogs? What if my dogs are chosen last when teams are chosen? So many questions; not many answers.

Well I guess you just let dogs do what they do - sniff, romp, sniff, run, sniff, bark, sniff and sniff. Owners have small talk until some one's "child" gets a bit aggressive and then you take corrective action while the other kids still try to sniff.

Well five of us were there with our "kids", having a good time, when the grounds person showed up. He was on the cell phone with someone who apparently was ordering him to order us to move our dogs to the far end of the fenced in area so that the grass would have a chance to grow.

"You really think you're gonna grow grass at a dog park and actually expect the dogs to stay in one area until it grows? This is a dog park. The dogs run all over." said Daisy's mom.

Go get em Daisy's mom!!!

His response was that he needed to grow grass. (Just doing his job obviously; no matter how much truth there might be to her comments.)

I could only chuckle as I watched my dog doing that digging scratching tearing up the grass thing that dogs do after they do "their business".

The man didn't see me. I took my children home before we were asked never to come back. And here I thought I had found an option to saving my grass. Oh well.

Be Willing to Learn. It Earns You Respect.

When I attend a conference as a presenter I always attend sessions of other speakers. Sometimes I attend to get information. Sometimes I attend to get tips on how to be better at my craft. Other times I just attend to have fun. (Okay, most of the time I attend to have fun.) Heck, I even attend to "steal" material and get some motivation for myself. I am a learner.

Monday evening a woman came up to me shared the following thought:

I was sitting with you this morning at the General Session. I was impressed that you were our opening keynote speaker last night and you were there in attendance his morning. You even took notes.

I shared with her that I really liked what he had to say; a lot of what he did complemented my work and I am eager to find out how he and I might be able to help one another. I also told her some words I live by; which are "the day I cannot learn something new is a sad day."

We can all learn; from strangers as well as our peers.

• If you're an accountant other accountants can teach you something.
• If you're a secretary other secretaries can teach you something.
• If you're a doctor other doctors can teach you something.
• If you're a Recreation Professional other Recreation Professionals can teach you something.
• If you're a teacher other teachers can teach you something. Heck even the students can teach you things.

Do I need to go on?

Being willing to learn earns you the respect that you don't often think about. Being willing to learn separates you from others in your industry - the ones who may think they know it all. They don't. Neither do you. Neither do I.


So shut up, listen, and learn something today.

Little Things Really Do Go A Long Way

I walked into my hotel room the other day and there was a bag on the bed. Inside was a card welcoming me to a Recreation and Park Society Conference. I was their opening keynote speaker later that afternoon. Inside that bag was also an assortment of my favorite candy - Marshmallow Peeps. After I delivered the keynote I was thanked with more Peeps.


On Monday I delivered a leadership session and a Recess from the way we think session. At the end of each I was showered with more of my favorite candy.


Yes, I was a paid presenter. Yes, they treated me like a celebrity - making sure everything was set up the way I needed, including me in all of the social activities, etc. But it was those Peeps that meant the world to me. That someone took the time to get to know me as we developed a relationship/partnership during the last year. Thanks Daphne, Tony and Audrey.


It really doesn't take a lot to make someones day - even in these times when finances might be tough. It doesn't take a lot at all. So with that in mind....................

Do you have the opportunity to do a little thing today or tomorrow for someone else. Go for it! And make it a habit.

The Spirit of Barbara! Catch It!

I sat next to Barbara on a flight yesterday. We chatted and laughed for about an hour on the flight from Hartford to Washington DC. Barbara was probably old enough to be my mother. We laughed at the crazies in the airport. We laughed at all the people annoyed about our delay. We laughed about the economy. We laughed about lazy people we have (or in her case, still) work with. We laughed about her husband leaving his glasses home (he was sitting a couple of rows back). We laughed about any topic that popped up.

Towards the end of the conversation I asked Barbara if she had kids. She said she had two; now only has one. She shared that her son was killed in an accident at twenty-one years old. We continued talking and laughing. I was amazed and commented.

Then she said to me, you can let the experience kill you too; or make you stronger. We continued to laugh.

What's eating at you these days? What's upsetting or worrying to you. Have you taken some time to laugh? Go do it. There's enough unhappy people in the world; (Quick aside: now it seems that most of them live in Portland, OR.) But there's one person who continues to laugh - despite one of the worst things that can happen to a mother.

So today I say Catch the Spirit of Barbara and go create some laughter.

Why Aren't People Paying Attention In That Meeting?

Found myself sitting in a meeting recently and noticed the following going on:

• People were texting
• People were twittering
• People were talking
• People were emailing
• People were doodling
• People were cleaning out their purse
• One person was writing checks
• Another was making a list of some sort
• One was cleaning his finger nails - and then staring at what came out.
• And one guy was observing all of the above (that would be me!)

As a speaker I know one thing, if they're doing any or all of the above, it's my fault (for the most part); I'm not keeping them interested or engaged. But on the other hand some people need a little guidance at a meeting to recognize why they are in attendance. It's one of the reasons I created The Meeting Playce Mat™; to give people a tool to take something away from that meeting experience. It's fun; it's creative; and it gets you thinking.

Keep the people engaged and we won't be doing all of those things listed above. But how do you keep people engaged? Here are three ideas:

1. Include them by asking stimulating questions
2. Offer them opportunity to interact and be a part of the meeting; to put to practice what you are presenting
3. Give them new and fresh content - or at least take a new thinking approach to old stuff. Stop rehashing old ideas.

There are many more. But why not start here. If you're a presenter of any sort; civic meeting; staff meeting; or conference presenter, make a pledge right now to keep those people with you and not looking for opportunity to go to technology land, finger crud world or the ear wax kingdom.

Now this is what you call Customer Service?

Met a colleague for breakfast this morning. We were sitting drinking our coffee and brainstorming. On the table was a little bowl of creamers; enough to bathe in. (As an aside, what is the deal with those things anyway? Why is it that some have to be kept cold while others can sit on the sidewalk on a brutally hot summer day alongside that fried egg?And do restaurants really know which is which and why? And what about the supply we find in hotel rooms? Should I be looking for cobwebs; you never know how long those have been sitting next to that in room coffee maker?)

But anyway, I digress.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the waitress serving the table behind us barreling down the aisle. She whizzes by, puts her hand out, scoops up our little bowl of dairy delites and drops them off at the next table.

Ed and I looked at each other in amazement. Wasn't sure if he was shocked, appalled or confused.

I just laughed. I guess my quota of free refills had been reached.

It's Here..........The MEETING PLAYCE MAT (TM)

Tired of those boring meetings that lead to no results, no innovative ideas and nothing new being said.

Take The Meeting Playce Mat (TM) to your next meeting. It'll make your next meeting a whole lot more productive - or at least a whole lot more fun!

email me your name and (snail) mailing address and I'll send you a sample today!

Find out more about the Meeting Playce Mat (TM) Here!

Are you hanging out with Recessionaries and participating in the Recession? I hope not.

I keep hearing about this Recession, yet I'm still not seeing it???

• I had to wait 30 minutes for a table last night in a restaurant. At 9:00 the place was still packed
• The roads are as congested as ever; if not more congested? Are people getting up in the morning and driving to the companies that laid them off just to say hi?
• The line to check out at one of my favorite stores was ten deep the other day and there seemed to be more than enough help at the register
• The company who normally turns my marketing materials around in two days has not delivered my proof yet - it's been a week? They're swamped with work; so they tell me.
• I booked two engagements this week at my normal fee
• One friend booked a cruise; another a week in the Caribbean; a third to South Africa

So this leads me to a few questions:

1. Am I just hanging out with the right people?
2. Are service organizations staffing down to give the appearance of being busy?
3. Are companies trying to move forward and ignoring the craziness that is Wall Street and Washington?
4. Are the travel deals so good that I better do some surfing as soon as I post this blog entry.

I really am trying not to participate in this Recession. Would you join me?

What is it?

Look long and hard at the picture below and try to guess what it is before reading any further.


So what is it?



Recently I attended a seminar on the importance of play; as it relates to design, innovation and creativity in business and society.

One of the exercises involved being paired up with someone to create a new idea or product. There was one catch. We were not allowed to talk. This had to be a non-verbal exchange of ideas based on drawing or writing. I was paired up with Karen, a professor from Syracuse University.

Karen started our conversation with what looked like an open box.

I put wheels on it.

From there it just got silly.

Karen and I were no longer on the same page; we both had our own idea for a new product. I started going down the path of an oven and she started going down the path of I didn't know what; but I think it was something military; as it appeared to be armed with weapons.

But at the end of the exercise, we had agreed that we had designed the first Attack Skating/Skiing Oven named Herbie.

Play is critical for creativity and innovation to occur. Play can also be constructive and transformational for any organization when used the right way and for the right reasons. Some of the smartest companies use play to create new products and services. And it does wonders for the health and wellness of an organization. Is your organization playing?

June 18th is Recess At Work Day; a day that promotes health and wellness, creativity, team building and so much more. But don't wait until June 18th; visit the Recess At Work Day website today and start playing, innovating, designing, being more creative and getting well!

Shut Up! Or You May Be The Next One Let Go

In my How To Be A Good Employee program, I offer some simple rules to navigate the workplace; have fun, stay motivated and be a good team player.

Rule #5 is SHUT UP!

Now this does not mean you should not speak up for what you believe in or bring attention to matters of importance; it means stay out of the gossip and nonsense that is so pervasive in many organizations. Pretty simple to state; not so easy for some to do.

Yesterday I received a call from two former colleagues. Both still work for the same company. It seems that a staff member was let go and they called to tell me as if I cared.

When I leave an organization I could care less about what is going on - especially the crap. But there are those who seem to think you care; or maybe it is just their way of staying in touch. Who knows. And again, who cares?

But it was interesting how both of these people had very different explanations as to why their co-worker was let go. One painted a picture of it being an unfair decision; the other painted a picture of it's about time.

Who is right? Who knows. And again, who cares.

But this is how organizational gossip and employee turmoil begins or gets fueled. If you're an employee of an organization you know the talks that are going on after someone is let go or receives some corrective discipline. Are you part of theses talks? Are you inciting them?

Let me make life easy for you................Chances are that none of the gossips really know the real reason; nor will they ever. Probably, because chances are it's a little bit of valid information from every piece of gossip out there.

Hence Rule #5?: Shut Up! Stay out of it and do your job.

The World is Crumbling Around Us...................

And this guy is pissed at Burger King . Make sure you click on the police recording link.


And then give this some thought................................

You know that the 911 Operator will remember this day for a long time to come; she can probably write a book of bizarre calls. But enough about her, what are the funny, crazy, silly, outlandish things that have happened at your workplace that still make you laugh? When things get tough at the office, take a moment to reminisce and laugh.

And the stupidity at Bank of America continues....

If you remember, back in November I gave Bank of America the Stupid Company of the Month Award (you can read about it here)

Well the Stupidity at Bank of America continues. The account I thought was closed is not, and has been accruing $5.95 monthly fees on a zero balance.

And why?

Well it seems when I logged into my online account and told them to close this account they closed the online banking account, but not the actual checking account.

And how did I find this out?

The very nice customer service representative told me that when I called asking why I am receiving overdrawn statements when I requested the account to be closed. He informed me that I had requested the online account closed and not the actual checking account. To close a bank account you actually need to talk live with a person - on the phone or in a branch.

Okay, I'll take part of the blame here -perhaps a miscommunication. But on whose part?

Not mine. Remember, the customer is always right. Right???

So I made a suggestion to the BOA rep. I suggested that maybe he pass along a suggestion to the online department suggesting that they might be a bit more explicit in their email communication about the closing of online access versus closing of an actual bank account.

And to which his response is..............

I can go to the website and submit that suggestion by myself.

And to which my response is....................

I'm not even a customer any longer; and you're the customer service person who should be forwarding these requests.

And to which his response is..................

There are different ways we gather information at BOA and him forwarding the information is not one of them. (Now if this line isn't enough to make you puke; you know that came right out of some training manual)

And to which my response is........................

A chuckle and the stupidity at BOA continues.


Just a few days ago I again heard talks of the US Govt nationalizing BOA. Nationalize. Can we De-Stupidize them first!

A Message For Governor Rell: Yeah, yeah, yeah, families are making do with less, blah, blah, blah.

Families Are Making Do With Less; So Can We.

That was a point that Governor Rell (CT) kept repeating during her doom and gloom budget conference yesterday. She was setting the tone for what was about to come.................
layoffs, agency closures, agency consolidations and decreased services. I'm sure this is happening in most states.

Hey Governor, I'm willing to make do with less; but I think it is about time that you make it easier for me to do so.

I just finished writing an $18 check for a boat trailer. Three weeks ago I wrote an $18 check for a jet ski trailer. Hey governor............why can't all registrations be renewed online?! Why couldn't you send these both to me at the same time? Why do I have to write a check, stick a stamp on it and walk to my mailbox - Twice! Why can't I print out my registration online? And what about my license? What happens when I arrive at the DMV to renew it and find out the hours are shortened or you have closed the office. Yeah, yeah, yeah, families are making do with less, blah, blah, blah.

Yo Governor, I'm willing to make do with less; but I think it is about time that you make it easier for me to do so.

Government talks about having less bureaucracy; I think that government needs to learn how to get out of their own way. Do you need to lay off 400 people? Maybe? Maybe not? Are there lazy people in government who take advantage of their jobs? Absolutely. Are there lazy people in the private sector doing the same thing? You bet. But is it possible that you have perpetuated things by placing people in the wrong positions, not screening candidates properly, and turning your head on "out on administrative leave" issues? And now, after you have fostered (not you personally) this type of behavior for decades you plan to fix it with fewer services and people?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, families are making do with less, blah, blah, blah.

You forget one thing Governor; families are already doing with less; now you're going to be asking them to do with even less. Your speech seemed to address your political team, not the great people of CT! Forget Double Taxation. This is Double Screwation.

So using the DMV as just one example, how about implementing some things that make sense? Now take the resources you just saved and deploy them into positions that make more sense, training that allows people to use their talents, and products and services that support everyone. If private industry has learned how to tap into people's talents, so can government. Need help figuring it out? I'll show you for free!

You see Governor, I really am willing to make do with less; but I think it is about time that you make it easier for me to do so.

Don't Invite Your Mother To The Meeting If She Is Going To Whine

If you’re old enough and your parents had guts, balls or chutzpah, you remember “The Look.” The Look meant you did something wrong and you had either cut it out right now………..Or Else. It was appropriately used when we were taken to a public place – restaurant, house of worship, or shopping.

Or Else meant discipline. It didn’t mean time out. It didn’t mean you were sent to your room to think about what you did; a room where you had computers, 100” flat screen TV’s, MP3 players, your cell phone and enough toys for a small village in a third world country. Discipline often involved hands, belts, slippers, or even a broom. Now I am not supporting physical discipline but I do know in the past I have mentioned my view on this ridiculous thing called “Time Out.”

So there we are, in the food court of the Convention Center. Ellen and I are looking for a place to sit, eat, and catch up a bit. We meet at this event every year to play a bit as well as strategize about our businesses. We join a young woman at a table for six. She invites us to sit down as it will only be her and her mother. Mom is nowhere in sight. But without even knowing what she looked like we hear this train barreling down the tracks, approaching the table.

“This is awful. They have no food I like. I don’t want to sit down here with all this noise. The food choices were terrible. The lines are so long. The cashier is so slow. (She is now at the table.) They don’t give you any napkins. Where am I going to sit? (We left seats on either side of her daughter and one across; quick aside, notice it is across; not acrossed.) Ellen is horrified; I am biting my tongue not to laugh. Oh, by the way; for my current and former New Yorkers, she’s got one of those high-pitched Nasally New York Voices – (think Janice from Friends). Her daughter points her in the direction of the condiment station where she can find her napkins. And then it happens; as she turns away the daughter gives her “The Look.” I burst out laughing. It was wrong but all I could do at that point.

There was absolutely nothing right going on in this woman’s life on that day. Mother-Daughter time meant nothing to her. I wished I could have introduced her to people in that room who had lost their mother; or worse yet, their daughter. Slapping her back to reality would have been my pleasure. Or maybe a little reminder, that unlike those kids in the third world country, at least she could afford food.

And then I got thinking about some dynamics of meetings and teams; which is why I was there. I am currently working on a new product to make painful meetings a bit more valuable and fun (watch your inbox for the launch); but this was the perfect example of how often times we invite the wrong people to a meeting. In my research about successful meetings one of the most common complaints is that things do not get done because the wrong people are in attendance. The wrong people bring bad ideas. The wrong people bring no ideas. The wrong people bring their agenda. The wrong people are not capable of looking at all sides of a discussion and then making a decision that is right, not just in their best interest. The wrong people will use a phrase like “Not to play Devil’s Advocate” on a regular basis. Drop the Advocate is what I am thinking; because you are the Devil! The wrong people suck the life out of a room. They always find something wrong with the project, the product, the idea, the class, the hotel, the restaurant, etc. Think about it at your next meeting experience. So how do you identify who the wrong people are? They are usually the topic of discussion at the meeting which occurs right after the meeting – you know the one.

Do you we realize we invite the wrong people to meetings, we put the wrong people in positions, we have conversations with the wrong people, we try to train the wrong people. I can go on and on. We invite people out of courtesy. News Flash! – They don’t want to be there either; hence the possible sucking out of life. So who are the right people? I propose three simple questions when you are asked to attend the next meeting:

1. Why are you being invited to this meeting? (What is the expectation being placed on you?)
2. What will you contribute of value to this meeting? (Not can you, but will you)
3. Is there a better person that should attend in your place?

Let those three questions be the basis for staying on or getting yourself off that invite list. And if you’re planning the meeting, ask yourself these questions:

1. Look at your list and ask why you’re inviting each person?
2. What is the contribution you expect from each person; tell them beforehand
3. Do you really have the right people on that list?
   

So mom and daughter get up from the table to leave. We smiled at the daughter with one of those “we feel your pain” looks. Mortified, she smiles back and gave us “The Other Look” – the rolling eyes one. I hope mom accomplishes whatever her daughter expected by bringing her to this event.

Motivated by Money, I Used To Shovel Snow For A Living

I used to shovel snow for a living.
Okay, it wasn't a living, but when I was a kid, wanted a few extra bucks, and it snowed, I shoveled. I also learned about negotiation.

I used to sell Kool-Aid for a living
Okay, it wasn't a living, but when I wanted a few extra cents, and it was summer; I stood on a corner prostituting myself for a nickel and learning the value of my time.

I used to rake leaves for a living.
Okay, it wasn't a living, but when I was a kid, wanted a few extra bucks, and it was fall, I raked leaves into piles, jumped in the piles, and then put the leaves in bags. I learned work should be fun.

I used to haul trash for a living.
Okay, it wasn't a living, but when I was a kid, wanted a few extra bucks, and it was summer at the cottages, I hauled people's trash to the community dumpster and then ran home and took a bath.

I used to teach adult ed for a living.
Okay, it wasn't a living, but when I was an adult, wanted a few extra bucks, and it was spring, I taught. I learned that adults really do think they know everything.

I used to do taxes for a living.
Okay, it wasn't a living, but when I was an adult and wanted a few extra bucks and it was the first quarter of a new year, I did taxes. I hated taxes. I hated some of my clients. I decided you should not do work you hate or spend time with miserable people.


Are these tough economic times? Yes they are.
Is there work out there? I believe so.
Is it at the level of experience or pay that you expect? Probably not.
Might you have to do things you don't enjoy? Perhaps.

But I do believe that there are those people who always figure out a way to make it work and others who sit around waiting for things to happen. I hope you're the former, no matter what your work or financial situation is right now.

Move To New England; There Is No Recession Here

I've been doing market research lately to see how hard the Recession has hit the Northeast; specifically New England. I keep hearing about layoffs and high unemployment; yet the traffic I sat in yesterday morning didn't seem to support the numbers? Corporate parks were full of cars. That evil donut place still had lines of cars blocking lanes of traffic as people waited to reach a drive-thru window (sometimes it really is faster if you get your lazy butt out of the car)

So here are my research findings:

Business is booming in Turners Falls, MA.
Business is booming in Northampton, MA
Business is booming in Bristol, Farmington and West Hartford, CT
Business is booming in Eastham, MA
Business is booming in Southington, CT; as well as Cheshire, Waterbury and Danbury, CT.
Business is booming in Manchester, NH
Business is booming in Portland, ME as well as Portland, CT

Yes, everyone I talk to in these New England towns tells me business is great. They have not seen any difference or slowdown.

Are they telling me the truth?
Are they in denial?
Is this Recession really not a Recession?

Or have the business owners in these areas figured out how to thrive in a Recession?

What's your opinion? I'd like to know.

6 Ways To Be A Successful Team Member (#6)

Last night I was at a Professional Development meeting. A small group of us were laughing, being a little raucous, and acting....well let's just say, a bit childish - and this time I didn't start the antics.

A woman walked over to us and said "I want to come join this group. You all seem to be having fun." I took a moment to look around at all the uptightness (I know it may not be a word; so what) and pretentiousness; the ones who were there to impress. I chuckled inside.

Which takes me to #6 on our 6 Ways To Be A Successful Team Member

6. Be Playful and Fun
Now let's not confuse being a jerk and acting like an idiot with playful and fun. More often than not being playful and fun is about being who you are, and not putting this charade on in front of others. People want to see the real you; what makes you laugh; what gets you excited. A few ideas:

1. Live in a moment
2. Spend some time with kids; even if you don't have any. Go rent some.
3. Wear a fun tie, accessory or hat
4. Take a Recess
5. Stop worrying about what others think
6. Pay close attention to #5 (post from two days ago)
7. Organize a short impromptu "field trip" for your colleagues - like a trip to the ice cream store. Buy everyone a cone - of your flavor choice of course!

People are attracted to playful and fun people. They not only reduce the stress and chaos in our lives; they usually make even the most tedious team objectives a bit more bearable. Try it. Mimic someone. Get a mentor.

Well. that's the 6. Pretty simple, right? Now here is the task................

Take the 6 Ways To Be A Successful Team Member and have a fun candid discussion with your team members about which ones have been violated. Do it playfully of course.

But I’m An Accountant Who Talks To Fat Ladies!

This is the article referred to in my newsletter of January 20, 2009. Yes, I know it is a bit of a long post. It'll keep you from surfing for porn.

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But I’m An Accountant Who Talks To Fat Ladies!
It was October 1984 and I was selecting classes for my final college semester. Constitutional Law and Civil Liberties. Looks interesting; fits into my schedule; I can blow out of campus by noon (my criteria for class selection). How difficult can that class be? After all I’m an accounting major.

Hah! Seems that Constitutional Law and Civil Liberties is the last class taken by Government Majors to earn their degree. As a quick aside, let’s just say this was not an easy semester and the hardest I ever worked for an “A” grade.

Midway through the semester, spring 1985, we were given an assignment. Students were paired up to deliver a five minute presentation of a case previously decided by the Supreme Court of the United States. One student was given the majority opinion; the other the dissenting opinion. Now to be honest I do not remember the case I was assigned, the partner I was assigned, or which side of the decision I needed to defend. That information is irrelevant and probably forever blocked from my mind for a reason.

I read the case. I wrote up my presentation. I practiced it in front of the mirror. I practiced it in front of my family. I stood in the cafeteria in front of my business major friends and practiced. I was psyched. I was prepared. I was motivated. I was ready. This was going to be fun. This accounting major was about to declare a victory.

8:00 AM that day. Sitting in my seat the stomach is turning at warp speed. I’m nauseous. I am hoping Professor Grant – I remember her name! – was abducted or hit by a bus on the way to class. Nope, the smiling, perky, prematurely gray professor walked into the room. #%*$

Just pick me and get this over with I thought. Nope. She chose another pair to be first. Is this what death row feels like?

Finally after what seemed longer than waiting for Santa to arrive on Christmas Eve, it was my turn. I step to the front of the room. I look out at what seemed like 23,000 pairs of eyes staring at me. I open my mouth. Words start coming out. The looks of horror, shock, and hysterics on the faces of my professor and my classmates were something I can still vividly see.

Now if you’re old enough you may remember a commercial for FEDEX with the world’s fasting talking man. If you’re not old enough, I hate you. Just kidding – but go to YouTube or Google and use search terms FEDEX, fast talking man and watch the video. But I digress.

Yes, a five minute presentation, perfectly crafted and timed, was just delivered in about forty seconds. I vowed never to speak in public again.

Spring 1988, yes just three years later, I was sent to Winnipeg Canada to teach financial statements and budgeting to Seed People. Seed People? I called them Seed People. I was working for a large Agri-company at the time. I had P&L responsibility (that’s profit and loss for the non-business reader) for North American operations. I was sent on a mission to teach seed salesman (corn, sunflower, etc), researchers, executives and office staff how to read, understand and prepare annual budgets, forecasts and financial statements. This will be a breeze; after all I’m talking my language. Debits. Credits. Profit. Loss. Income. Expense. Bottom Line. No need to even prep!

The presentation started off without a hitch. Things were going smoothly – except for the water stains in my armpit. It was apparent they had neither a clue nor interest in what I was talking about. The water had made its way down into my tight fitting suit pants. Then out of nowhere came their words. Hybrid. Biotech. Harvest. Grain Elevator. And could I explain how to account for these things. Ugh!

Now I will take some of the responsibility here; but I was young and green. Do you think my boss could have prepared me just a bit better for this one? I once again vowed never to speak in front of an audience.

Both of these tragedies taught me two things:

1. When you know more than your audience you are considered an expert and people look to you for answers, guidance, ideas and motivation.
2. When you know less than your audience you are not comfortable with the material you are presenting and your audience will question your right to be at the front of that room – and they will show no mercy or tolerance.

1989, I lose a whole bunch of weight at Weight Watchers. In 1993, after having my weight off for four years I join their team as a part-time meeting room Leader. Sharing my success and ideas was easy. Facilitating a group learning experience was a breeze. Why? Look above, I just told you why.

But there was another reason this worked for me. I broke the Weight Watchers script. I did it my way; not their way. You see, their way broke my #1 rule above. I had to be me and share my experiences, ideas and thoughts in a manner that made sense to me, not by delivering some silly theatrics that their training department thought was cookie cutter for everyone. And while at times I left management’s stomachs churning from my antics, they loved the loyal following I had. The company loved how I rang up their cash register. They gave me awards for highest attendance and best member weight loss results for years – awards that meant nothing to me. Nothing. My awards and rewards were when people came up to me and thanked me for helping them figure out their weight issues and stay motivated.

But then something strange started to happen. In addition to their thanks these people were also giving me nudges. These people saw a gift in me to motivate and inspire people to change. They saw a gift in me to take traditional routes to dieting and better health and come up with innovative, fun and creative ways to be successful and experience long-term results. These people started telling me I needed to get out of accounting and go become a motivational speaker. One woman came up to me and told me about an organization called the National Speakers Association (NSA). I chuckled and said thanks. I went home and looked up NSA online; could not figure what they were really all about and closed out the browser page.

1993, I get a call from a colleague. Would I like to teach a CPA review course with him? Teaching the whole class was just too much for him. I was a full-time recruiter at the time – placing accounting professionals in new positions. I also had the Weight Watchers gig going on. I had “tons” of time on my hands. But it sounded like fun.

Ray and I met. I looked over the materials and learned what was expected of me. I’ve been down the path of this exam. I know the material. What I need to refresh myself on is given to me by the organization. I decided to do it.

I made the class fun. Again, I didn’t exactly follow the rules that were given to me; nor will I write here what my success was; I only share that with my speaking audiences. (Never put certain things in writing) The students started telling me I should go become a Motivational Speaker. Now I’ve got two groups of people telling me the same thing.

I taught this class for several years. I had command of the room. I had command of the material. Students were learning, laughing and passing the exam. I continued to hear them tell me I should go become a motivational speaker. I continued to chuckle.

Winter 1999, I had started an online retail business several years earlier which was providing me no satisfaction and was doing the Weight Watchers thing. The review course had been swallowed up by another review course. I was not on the same page with how the new organization ran their classes so I had decided to jump ship. At the same time I jumped the review course ship I was asked to speak on a cruise ship by someone I met online through a Weight Watchers staff networking group. On that cruise I met two other speakers who were part of that NSA thing. I did my speech – which went okay, just okay - and went home. I wasn’t really sure what the next stop-along-the-way-in-my-life was going to look like.

Then one day while sitting in my cold mud-room-converted-to-an-office, my phone rings.

On the other end of the line was someone from the State of CT telling me how she got my name from someone and heard that I could "light a fire under the asses of a stereotypical group of state workers.” Those were her words, not mine. I held the phone in disbelief. Why is this person calling me…………….I’m an accountant who talks to fat ladies?

But I kept hearing those voices inside telling me to go be a Motivational Speaker.

Voices: “You should be a motivational speaker!”
Me: “I’m an accountant who talks to fat ladies?”

Voices: “You should be a motivational speaker!”
Me: “I’m an accountant who talks to fat ladies?”

Voices: “You should be a motivational speaker!”
Me: “I’m an accountant who talks to fat ladies?”

I paused and then some words just came out of my mouth……………………

“Let me come down, meet with you and see what you have in mind.”

And those words were clear, commanding, confident, and not above the speed limit.

I did that speech. I joined that NSA thing. A new career began.

Today you can find me at http://richdigirolamo.com/. But more importantly, thanks to Professor Grant, the Class of 1985 Government Majors at Manhattan College, my friends at Continental Grain Company, Mikki Williams, Scott “Q” Marcus, Christie Ward, NSA and all the “Skinnies” at Weight Watchers; you helped lead me to a path and into a career that has me jumping up out of bed in the morning!

And if you want to get more comfortable speaking in public visit my friend Jacki Rose.

6 Ways To Be a Successful Team Member (#5)

5. Avoid The Negative Ones

You know who they are; they have infiltrated every organization. They are the reasons I write my bi-weekly newsletter. They are THE NEGATIVE ONES.

They are the doom and gloomers. They talk negatively of every decision. They talk negatively of others. They are unhappy, miserable and feel entitled. And the kicker....................

Did you ever notice they seem to find each other? !?!?!?!?! It's like they have Naysaydar, kinda like Gaydar, but for negative people, the ability to seek out, find and feed off of all the other negative naysayers.

And while you may be laughing and think this is funny, as a speaker I can usually spot them in the crowd. They are the ones sitting there thinking they can learn nothing; they know it all. They are the ones in the cafeteria and other common areas just sucking the life out of everyone they come into contact with. They ought to be canned! They bring down employee morale. They are disengaged. They crush productivity.

STAY AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE.

Stay far away.

Run. Run......As Fast As You Can.

They can ruin your career.

They can get you branded or labeled as one of them

- squashing all aspirations of advancement.

Years ago I held a sales position; a new sales person had just joined the company. She was bright, smart, funny, sarcastic (in a good way) and a go-getter. She had promise. I was excited about the skills she was going to bring to the rest of us. She then met two of the "miserable ones" and began getting sucked in to the garbage. I contacted our territory manager and suggested she step in and save what I saw as a Rising Star. The manager did nothing. Eventually the Rising Star became one of the most avoided. Too bad - for everyone; especially the customer.

Surprised? Shocked? Don't be; this is happening right now. Heck for all I know there may be people avoiding you. Yikes!

Look around your organization. Who are the ones you need to be avoiding? You have my Permission. More importantly; you'll be happier.

Or take it one step further. Take a look at your life. Who is just sucking the energy out of you? Who is just "too much work?" Is it time to sever the relationship. Don't be afraid; there are happy, helpful, fun, motivational people waiting to enter your life. You'll be glad you released the negative energy.